Expectations

I am the youngest of four girls. I have a 25 year old sister, a 27 year old sister and a 29 year old sister. And I grew up in a Mormon household. That is important because marriage, kids, family is a HUGE thing in that belief system, remember that as I continue my semi depressing rant about my thoughts and feelings..oooo feelings. So anyway here I am at the age of 23 and I can't help but feel like a complete disapointment. My oldest sister had two kids by my age, unmarried but still two beautiful children that love her and she had a family, my other sister at my age was married for about 4 years if my math is correct, and they still are happily married, my other sister was engaged (didn't work he was an asshole) and was about to graduate from UNIVERSITY. And here I am, a college drop out, working retail, living in sin with my boyfriend and we have no plans for children, or marriage, which is a topic all on it's own. So I look at my sisters and feel dissapointed in myself for not being able to live up to the expectations that they have unintentionally set for me. And believe me I am trying. I keep getting told by my bff's (yes I used BFF) that I was born in a completely different generation, with different morals and different lifestyles, which is very true. Marriage in my time is useless, why would I sign a piece of paper saying that I am legally bound to a dude? Why? Shouldn't marriage be about love and not about taxes, give me a ring and a name change (I fully believe my breed should die out) maybe even a small party, and I'm good to go. But that scares me because what will my parents think if I show up saying "oh hey mom, I'm not gettin married, and I'm not actually married but ooo look at my pretty ring and oh I'm a *insert boyfriends last name here*  but we don't have a marriage certificate because what's the point? Common law is the same thing nowadays. *sign* Then to top it off I keep getting asked if I plan on going back to school anytime soon? Um most likely no. I have alot of debt (student loans inculded) I don't want any more debt as it is, and maybe I don't work with children like I wanted to, but maybe I will be the lady whos been in retail my entire life? Sooo that's my life. Oh and to top it off I have told them (yes I understand that I am still young and things might change) but I won't be going back to church, because I was unhappy there, and I feel like when it comes to spirituality happiness should be included. OH well. I know my family loves me and they know I am trying hard to please them and from what I gathered, they are proud of me for living my life the way I see fit and not following anybody but dancing to the beat of my own drum, but my golly did my drum have to beat so differently than everyone else in my family? I feel like everyone feels this though. And I do enjoy who Ive become and my life. I wish I didn't suffer from anxiety from people, and I have the greatest friends and my boyfriend is a thing of legends, so I am very very happy, and I'm slowly accepting the fact that I feel so different and alone in my family functions because I feel like they don't fully get me (which I know everyone feels) But hey at least I am done my rant for the day, and I know no body reads my blog unless I decide to post it on facebook going "hey read my most inner thoughts!" but at least my feelings are out there in the cyber universe instead of just rattling through my brain and my heart *Fake sob* 
PS My mother doesn't even know what the TARDIS is. saaad day. saaaad day