Two years ago

Wow it's so weird to think I've come this far...that we've come to this far. Two years ago to this day...I was on a date with (who i will call) Grizzly. We have agreed to casual dating. That way he could take me out on dates and hang out with me and I get free dinner and movie without having the attachment of having a boyfriend, something I didn't want. For the past couple months Grizzly and I hung out and texted frequently, and he became one of my best friends faster than anyone ever has. When I became single he started to persistently ask me out, not just casual but an actually boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Each time I said no, because I wasn't ready for another relationship so soon after my previous relationship had ended on bad terms, and let's face it my ex boyfriend was kind of a jerk, and I was moving to Edmonton after graduation. So the month were on where we would still hang out and every time Grizzly would ask me to be his girlfriend. His persistence was admirable and very sweet, but I felt bad every time I said no. Two years ago today something changed. We went to the movies and walking there he grabbed my hand to hold it. And I freaked out, saying I couldn't do it.The rest of the night was pretty awkward, and when we dropped me off at home we had the same conversation we've been having since December 4th 2008, and my answer was always the same. No. When I went inside my room, and for the first time since I met Grizzly, I cried, and cried, all because I wasn't with him. So I figured that was a sign, and I decided that if I was unhappy because I wasn't with him, it then something needed to change...so I texted him saying I needed to talk to him tomorrow as soon as he was able to.